Review: Blue Swirl G

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Blue Swirl G next to my Rubik's cube & card for size comparison

Background

I’ve always fancied temperature play. Especially involving the cold side of the spectrum. I’ve always liked feeling something ice-cold moving within me – so I looked into getting my hands on a glass toy. The Blue Swirl G by SSA Glass caught my eye; it was on sale (for like $8??), so I thought to myself: why the hell not. And now I know why not. What I got wasn’t really what I thought I would get. I found six differences between the stock photos on EdenFantasys and the toy I ended up receiving. This did not spark joy.

What's in the Box

Inside the ever-discreet box, you get a beautiful, aesthetically pleasing, smooth dildo paired with a red velvet storage pouch. Mine had a lil’ hole in said pouch where the string goes through from day one, but because I haven’t been rough with it, it hasn’t gotten any larger and everything is still in-tact.

First Glance

At first glance, everything seemed great. I didn’t even notice that the shape was different from what was advertised on EdenFantasys. That being said, the different shape could certainly be felt, and about that you’ll learn in the next section. Aside from that, I marveled at the blue patterns within the glass for a good few minutes before setting it aside for later.

First Trial

First time with the Blue Swirl G was in tandem with one of my beloved pressure-wave toys. I very rarely manage to cum without them – and I wanted to cum (who doesn't), so in the shower we went.

This glass toy is slick as heck when wet. I like that, but be careful not to drop it – even regular water makes it slippery. As soon as I had slid it inside – which was ridiculously easy – not what I had anticipated, I felt it poke me. With each thrust. The tip wasn’t even hitting my cervix yet, as I wasn’t inserting it more than like 2.5 inches, and I felt as if there was a very sharp angle to the shaft.

Remembering the stock photos I studied before purchasing this toy, I thought to myself – huh... wasn’t this supposed to have one hell of a gradual curve? Why’s it feel like it’s poking me with every thrust? I kept at it for a few more minutes.

Eventually, I grew frustrated at the uncomfortable feeling, then pulled the Blue Swirl G out to look at it closely. Turns out my vagina was right. The shaft’s curve... isn’t really a curve. It’s more like two angles wonkily fused together – and because this dildo is made of glass, there’s absolutely no flexibility going on here. 

Disgruntled, I resumed with much slower thrusting as to try and mitigate that, but it really wasn’t working out the way I wanted it to. I eventually got an unsatisfactory orgasm out of this ordeal, but I wasn’t happy with it as it left me far from pleased, and most of the time, one climax is sufficient for me.

Re-Trials & What it Feels Like

I’m going to be frank here, as I always am: I dreaded subsequent uses with the Blue Swirl G. It’s uncomfortable to use. It isn’t too thick, so insertion and girth forgiveness isn’t an issue, but because the "curve" is an angle instead of a gradual curve, I didn’t get much pleasure out of this toy. The tip of the head is pointy. This does not feel too good if I press it against my cervix – most of the time I love pressure there, but not with this pointy thing.

The head itself kinda feels like as if I were thrusting a blunt arrow into myself. The shape isn’t oval – which is what the stock photos show – but instead, it’s like a three-dimensional arrow with a pointy tip. Long story short, I couldn’t get anymore orgasms out of the Blue Swirl G after that first trial, despite trying several different clit toys, which consequently makes me think that I only got that first one because I hyped myself up for it.

Comparisons to Other Toys

Unfortunately, I don’t have any other glass toys to compare the Blue Swirl G to. In other news, Dangerous Lilly has an article from 2011 in which she describes receiving "the work of a drunken apprentice" by the same company (SSA Glass from EdenFantasys) and that "the design has changed drastically". Guess we both pulled short sticks, but I think hers was a bit shorter.

Design

After that first nightmare of a trial with the Blue Swirl G, I went to compare my toy to the stock photos on EdenFantasys. Long story short, I found several differences. This image shows the 1:1 scale feature that EdenFantasys has with each product. The beige ruler is theirs, mine is the transparent one. I took my ruler, lined it up with my screen, took a screenshot, then took a photo of that same ruler next to my Blue Swirl G.

I then popped into Photoshop and scaled my photo of the ruler and the toy against their ruler to get as close of an accurate measurement as possible. It seems that no matter how I scale it – up or down – my toy appears larger, when it really isn’t. Here are my measurements when compared to the info provided on EdenFantasys:

Insertable length: 7.5in (accurate)

Length: 7.75in (off by 0.25in)

Thickest circumference: 4.5in (accurate)

Thickest diameter: 1.43in

Shaft circumference: 3.25in

Shaft diameter: 1.03in

6 differences I’ve found between the stock photograph and the toy I received:

  1. 1. the stock photos display a gradual, gentle shaft curve – which is what I anticipated and wanted. My toy has two somewhat sharp-ish angles that pretend to be curves.
  2. 2. in the stock photos, the curve begins about 1.5-1.75in from the bottom of the shaft; mine begins like 3.5in from the bottom of the shaft and is not gradual.
  3. 3. the head isn’t as rounded as it is in the stock photo.
  4. 4. the tip is pointy, not rounded off.
  5. 5. in the stock photos, the base has some subtle blue pigmentation -- mine is just regular transparent glass with no pigmentation whatsoever.
  6. 6. previous reviews like this one, this one, and this one all state that this toy is made of Pyrex Glass - the listing is currently labeled as "Borosilicate glass".

Is my toy a fluke? I actually don’t think so. There is a lot of contradictory information all over the place. I’m just giving the benefit of the doubt that there was a design change and the photos simply weren’t updated.

By looking through a bunch of the other users’ reviews that date back to 2011-2012, we can see that when the Blue Swirl G first appeared, it was pretty much identical to the stock photos. It did indeed have that gradual curve. It also had a bit more intense blue. Somewhere in 2013, though, the design changed, and the users’ reviews started reflecting the same angle (not curve) in the shaft that I have.

I don’t think any of those reviewers noticed, to be honest – and maybe I’m just being nit-picky... But the fact is that I didn’t receive the exact product I thought bought. Instead, I got a similar one – an “updated” model, I guess. Meh.

Let’s be real here. The Blue Swirl G is gorgeous; it’s pleasant to look at. When light shines through it, it gets refracted so nicely that I want to leave it out on my windowsill all day. If it wasn’t for the fact that I find the Blue Swirl G awkward to use due to the angles in its shaft, perhaps I wouldn’t be sitting here pointing all these differences out, but it is what it is: uncomfortable.

Orgasm/Squirting Notes

As mentioned earlier, I managed one feeble orgasm out of the Blue Swirl G – and that was with the first trial. Unsatisfactory as it was, I couldn’t even replicate it. I was unable to squirt at all with this toy either despite it reaching my G-Spot with ease.

I strongly believe that if the Blue Swirl G retained its original design (which is displayed in EdenFantasys’ stock photos), it would be pleasurable, not uncomfortable as it is.

Overall Verdict

I’m pretty disappointed. The stock photos on EdenFantasys are not up to date, and I went in thinking I’d get my hands on a toy that would glide smoothly, not leave me awkwardly trying to thrust this thing into myself without subsequently injuring myself from the odd angles.

Blue Swirl G

3.5
Material is Questionable
5.0/10
Awful Shape Amazing Shape
2.5/10
Not Artful Aesthetically Pleasing
8.5/10
Unpleasant Shape Lovely Shape
3.5/10
No squirt Divine Squirt
0.0/10
No Orgasm Explosive
1.5/10
The good
  • Pretty to look at
  • Works with all lube types
  • Good for temperature play
  • Never drags - very slippery when wet
The bad
  • Past reviews claim Pyrex glass; listing claims borosillicate glass
  • Gradual curve is actually odd angles in disguise - uncomfortable as heck
  • Arrowhead type tip - kinda pointy, when it should be oval-ish instead
  • Can only be bought/found on EdenFantasys
I recommend buying from these stores:
EdenFantasys

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